The Honeymoon
by runeplay2
Summary: Fluttershy and Big Macintosh are now married... will wedlock be all the bliss they expected? Will they get past their awkward moments?
1. Chapter 1

DISCLAIMER: I do not own My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, or any of the characters associated with it. All copyrights go to their respective owners.

Honeymoon: Chapter one: The Dance

The sound of fine silver being tapped against a wine glass called the attention of every pony standing within the bridal table. Cotton cloud then signaled to Vinyl Scratch to turn off the loud dub-step music that was playing, Cotton Cloud cleared his throat and began.

"Everypony, I cannot tell you how much it means to me that you all came to my daughter's wedding, so I would like to begin with a toast. To Fluttershy and her husband, Big Macintosh."

"Yeah!" called Rainbow Dash from far back in the crowd of dancers, and was joined in by many others.

"Second, I would like to thank Big Macintosh in specific-"he turned to his new son-in-law "Young man, I cannot tell you how thankful we are that you cared enough to seek us both out, even though you had no idea could have possibly been."

The normally very comfortable stallion chuckled and looked down at his glass of champagne.

"You were able to do something that everypony else thought would be an impossible task. I cannot thank you enough." This was followed by a loud roar of applause, to which Big Macintosh's cheeks reddened further and further.

"Anyway, I do believe that I interrupted some- oh, what is it called, nowadays- cool groves? Anyway, back to the party!"

With that, Vinyl re-started the song, and everypony went back to their dancing. Vinyl left her table for a few minutes, to whisper something in Cotton Cloud's ear, to which he responded with a nod.

When the song was over, Vinyl picked up her headset, and cued the lights manager to dim the lights save a spotlight.

"All right, fillies and gentlecolts, it's time for the father-daughter dance! Everyone, clear the dance floor!" The dance floor cleared within seconds, and Cotton Cloud moved over to take his daughter's hoof to lead her out to onto the dance floor.

As they entered the dance floor, "Heaven's Missing an Angel" began to play. Fluttershy and her father slowly sway in the middle, as her mother began to sniffle a little, overcome with pride for the scene playing in front of her.

"Fluttershy, sweetie…" Cotton Cloud trailed off, not sure where to begin.

"Yes, Daddy?" Her cyan eyes sparkled in the light, almost outshining her dress.

"I couldn't ask for a better daughter."

"And I couldn't ask for a better Dad."

Now her father was beginning to tear up, his pride growing more and more.

"Promise me you'll write?"

"You couldn't stop me if you wanted to."

As the song neared the end, Vinyl picked up her microphone and announced the next dance: Bride and Groom would do a tango.

"Come on, Big Macintosh!" Applejack cheered from the crowd.

"Yeah, you two must have practiced for ten hours!"

With a sigh of resignation, Big Macintosh stood and walked out to meet his wife out on the middle of the dance floor.

"Come on, sweetie…" Fluttershy whispered in his ear, "I'm certain you'll do fine!"

"Ya'll know how bad Ah am at dancin'!" He whispered back.

"Don't worry, it's not like this is a contest!" Fluttershy replied with a shrug.

Big Macintosh noted in the back of his mind that Fluttershy loosened up a lot when she was inebriated, and that it only took about two glasses of wine… Celestia knows what a couple of shots of vodka would do- probably best to make sure she has company when she goes to a bar.

As soon as they heard the maracas, they moved to the beat as they had practiced so often.

The crowd cheered as they went into each dip, twist and turn of the dance. To his surprise, Big Macintosh never stepped on anything but the dance floor. Fluttershy giggled like a school filly when the song finished, and she was left being held up only by Big Macintosh's front hooves, which was extremely hard for him to maintain the pose.

Vinyl Scratch giggled as she read off the next dance: Mother-in-law and son-in-law. She knew how much Big Macintosh hated dancing, and couldn't help it as she noticed the expression on his face, one of dreaded resignation. She placed the song "My Wish" onto the table, and waited for Fluttershy's mother to enter the floor.

As Fluttershy's mother sauntered up to him, Big Macintosh couldn't help but notice: Fluttershy's mother looked so young she could have been Fluttershy's sister, instead.

"Listen, Big Macintosh." Fluttershy's mother began, her voice curt and almost cold.

"I know you make my daughter happy. That's all I could ever wish for. But-" She drew his ear right to her mouth "If I hear so much as a PEEP about you hurting my daughter, I will geld you so fast it'll singe. Got it?"

"_Well. This MIGHT be where Fluttershy gets her Flutterrage powers."_ He told himself, unsure of how to react.

"Ma'am, Ah wouldn't dare think about hurtin' her."

"Good. Now then, you both excited about your honeymoon?" Fluttershy's mother instantly changed gears from threatening him to making light, casual conversation.

"Well, yeah, Ah'm pretty sure we both are."

"Going to give me plenty of grandchildren?"

Big Macintosh's cheeks burned with that question, unable to believe how such a seemingly sweet and polite mare could be having this sort of a question.

"Well, ta be honest, Ah'm not sure she an' Ah have even thought about that aspect of marriage… at all."

It was true. Big Macintosh wasn't sure that was something you should approach casually, even if you were married to the other pony. He figured that if you were constantly… "mounting" then it would not be a special experience.

"Oh? Well, now _that_ certainly is a stretch from what I expected. In all truth, when I was worrying about the type of stallion my daughter would marry, my top fear was one who was in it for the sex."

"May we…" Big Macintosh wasn't sure of what to say, letting out a long "uh" to fill in the gap.

"Change the conversation?" She filled in.

"Eeyup."

"Oh, why certainly! Now then, do you two have a will written out yet?"

This time Big Macintosh gave her a flat-out look of disbelief.

"What? A mother cannot worry if her daughter has her affairs in order?"

"Ah think that the fact we've been married for 'bout half a day would give you a sufficient answer."

As the song ended, Fluttershy's mother curtsied, and returned to her seat, along with Big Macintosh.

"So, what were you two love-birds talking about?" Fluttershy asked him, as she lay her arms over his shoulders, an almost empty glass of champagne in her hoof.

"Oh, ya know, Mother-in-law an' Son-in-law stuff."

"Really?" Fluttershy hiccupped.

"Behcuz you were blushing really hard, so one of you's a pervy pervert." Fluttershy giggled out as she finished the glass.

"Yeah, well you're lookin' pretty red yerself, darlin'."

"Oh, really? Because I'd like to she you drink four glashses of champagne and not…" She trailed off, with a few hiccups the only indication she hadn't fallen asleep.

"Sweetie, Ah think ya'll should slow down on the drinks a bit."

"You're right, 'cause how elsh am I going to take care of… the…" Her eyes suddenly drooped closed and she passed out, falling right onto Big Macintosh.

"Oh sweet Celestia, somepony get a nurse or somethin!" Big Macintosh panicked. Having never been drinking with a pony who couldn't handle it, he was worried she might have overdosed.

"Don't worry, darling." Rarity called from the far end of the table. "She'll be fine. She's actually done that with me twice!"

"But Ah-"

"Now, now, you're a fully grown stallion, I'm certain you can handle a passed out drunken mare, can't you?"

Big Macintosh did the only thing he could think of to do- pick up his wife, and trot out to the carriage that was waiting to take them home.

"Don't be too rough now, all right? She's a very delicate flower!" Rarity called, poking fun at what she assumed to be Big Macintosh's intentions.

Big Macintosh rolled his eyes and signaled the pull team to leave.

Author's Note: Okay! Well! It's finally here… the beginning of this story! I guess I waited a little bit too long, to begin this one, considering my readers from Caring For A Certain Stallion all probably don't care anymore. Well, whatever. This story will hopefully remind them why the put me on Author Alert. Anyway, sorry for taking so long! I honestly could NOT figure out for the life of me how to avoid lemons with this! But yeah, expect this to be a story with a new chapter every 4-5 days… anyway, bye!


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two: The Day After

Big Macintosh sat up slowly in bed, and turned to look over at his mare-friend… no, that wasn't right. Wife. Fluttershy was his wife now.

He gave his wife a peck on the forehead, and slipped out of bed. He walked out of the bedroom, not making the floor creak, a skill he had acquired over his weeks of having already stayed at her house before.

He crept down the stairs, and began the chores he knew Fluttershy would be too hung over to do, from feeding the rabbits to making sure the ferrets were getting along. He didn't mind doing them, nor did most of the animals.

Almost all of the animals had become very familiar to him, some of the birds even landing on his back or head as he sauntered around the house, and the yard outside. When he got to the rabbits, there was one who still seemed to be as cold as ever to him: Angel Bunny. What the rabbit's grudge against him was, he couldn't tell.

The rabbit had hopped up to him and made motions pointing between Big Macintosh and the bedroom window.

"Ya'll want ta know why Ah'm out here an' not Fluttershy?"

_Yeah, pretty much._

"Ya'll know what gettin' drunk means?"

_Yes._

"That's why. She's more hung over than a wet sheet on the clothes line."

_Oh. Well, make sure you don't skimp on the carrots._ The rabbit dismissed him, and went back into his small house.

"Ya know, that rabbit sure has a huge ego… Ah'm not sure how he gets away with it."

When he was finally done distributing the food, he trot back into the house and put a tea pot on the stove, keeping the lid off so it would not whistle and wake Fluttershy up.

He heard a grumbling and shifting upstairs, so he grabbed a glass of water and some seltzer, and headed up the stairs.

Fluttershy mumbled something unintelligible to him, but he shrugged it off as unimportant.

"Ya'll okay?" He asked as he set the glass on the table.

Fluttershy groaned.

"My head. Wha happened?"

"Ya got a little too keen on the alcohol and passed out." He gently replied as he handed her the glass.

"Listen, I'm sorry for last night."

"What for? Far as Ah kin' tell, we both had a nice time last night."

"Last night was supposed to be our special night, the night we…" She trailed off, unsure of how to finish the sentence, or if she even _wanted_ to.

"Sweetie, Ah don' care 'bout that. It's not why Ah married ya. Ah married ya because Ah love ya."

"I- but… okay. Listen, if you still want to-"

"Oh hay no. Ya'll have a hangover, an' if there's anythin' Ah learned from Applejack an' her filly friend, it's that you don' do anythin' like that with a hangover."

"All right. Tonight, then?"

"Sugar, Ah don' want ya ta think it's any kind of obligation, so if yer heart ain't into it, then don' worry 'bout it."

"Okay, but is there anything I _can_ do for you?"

"Let me cook ya some breakfast, an just rest fer' the mornin'."

"Oh, all right." She gave him a quick peck on the lips.

"Thank you so much, Big Macintosh!"

"Nothin' Ah wouldn't do fer ya, sugar cube."

As Big Macintosh trot down the stairs, she couldn't help but feel guilty. Sure, she knew that Big Macintosh wanted it to be special for both of them, but she couldn't feel as though she had made a promise she didn't keep.

She stare at her hooves, unsure of what to do, about her guilt or at that particular moment, eventually deciding on trying to go back to sleep. She closed her eyes and lay back down in the bed, but the nagging feeling would not subside. Eventually she decided to get a glass of water, and perhaps some Tylenol for her head.

When she slid out of bed, she soon realized that her balance was far off, and she felt very dizzy. She lay back in bed, and pondered just how about she should go about getting the Tylenol.

Asking Big Macintosh? No, too selfish.

Sliding along the floor…?

No, then what would she do at the stairs?

She shut her eyes to think, if only for a minute.

"Maybe I could- no, that wouldn't…"

She ever so quietly yawned, as her eyes began to droop, the nagging feeling still there, but more tolerable this time.

By the time Big Macintosh got back up to the bedroom, Fluttershy was already fast asleep.

He chuckled to himself, and pulled the covers over Fluttershy, then as quietly as he had gone in left.

He gathered some of the animals who regularly stayed or received attention from Fluttershy, and set about figuring out what he needed to do.

Feed the chickens, gather the eggs, feed the otters, and- wait, how the hay was he going to fit into that chicken coup? He was twice as big as that door, there was no way he was going to fit! The only option was to ask Angel Bunny, and he disliked asking the bunny to do anything with a passion.

"Ah might as well get this over with." He mumbled to himself, slowly trotting off towards the rabbit's home.

When he arrived, he was surprised to find that Angel had company: a bit younger lady rabbit, with a small dandelion behind her ear. Big Macintosh knocked on the small door, and was greeted by the door swinging open, a carrot flying into his face, then it slamming shut.

"Listen, Angel, y'all know Ah hate askin' ya any favor, so please, just hear me out."

The door opened again, with the rabbit coming out with an agitated look.

_Listen, I was this close to getting some. What do you want?_

"Ah need ya ta gather the eggs from the chicken coup. Kin ya do that fer me?"

_Fine. But you owe me._

"Right. Then y'all kin get back ta whatever y'all were doin'."

When all was said and done, Big Macintosh noticed that the sun had almost set, his mind more focused on the chores than his stomach: a habit he had developed from long seasons Applebucking.

He trot back inside, and began to prepare an Apple and Celery sandwich for Fluttershy. His own sandwich could wait.

When he was finished making the sandwich, he took it upstairs, and quietly entered the bedroom. He was somewhat surprised to find Fluttershy knitting, considering she might still be a little bit impaired.

He walked over to the bed, and set the sandwich down next to Fluttershy.

"How y'all doin, darlin'?"

"I'm fine, though I wish today had gone differently…" She stare down at her hooves, her guilt for ruining the day returning.

"Ah think it went fine by my book."

"But I-" She was cut off by his lips.

"Listen, y'all kin blame yerself all ya want, but it ain't gonna change a thing. Ah'm just glad ta hear yer better."

She blushed a little at this.

"Listen, Ah'm gonna lay mah head down fer a minute, then Ah'm goin' ta make mahself a sandwich. All right?"

"All right."

Almost as soon as his head hit the pillow, he was dead asleep.

"Oh, sweetie…" Fluttershy giggled as she tucked the sheets over him.

*Author Note: Sorry I'm late! My computer's been giving me grief, but that is no excuse in my book! Anyway, see ya!


	3. Chapter 3

The Honeymoon: Chapter 3

"My dearest ponies," began the clergyman, "It is my great pleasure to welcome you all here to our sermon here today, on Hearth's Warming Eve."

"On Hearth's Warming, all those years ago, the three tribes were at bitter odds. Yet-although it took nearly getting destroyed, mind you- the three tribes were eventually able to find peace, and gather together for the greater good, and found Equestria."

"Speaking of coming together, I would like to welcome our first pegasus member of the clergy, Mrs. Fluttershy."

Applejack gave a soft chuckle as her sister-in-law pressed herself against Big Macintosh even harder, as though pressing hard enough would make her disappear.

"Clearly, if the name fit any better, we'd never see her." A quiet wave of laughter pervaded through the crowd."

"Also, as is tradition, I'll list off all the marriages that happened over the year, and all the foals that were born. Usually, this would take- oh, didn't we set a record of an hour last year?- about that much time. Surprisingly, there was only one marriage- Big Macintosh and Fluttershy, let's give them a round of applause!"

At this Fluttershy did not move a muscle, but her face turned such a new shade of red that she was almost the same color as Big Macintosh.

"And, I hear the couple of the hour also has a foal on the way, Am I right?"

"Eeyup, right 'bout November's when we're expectin'."

Well, that wasn't _exactly_ how they had planned to tell everyone… but, it was probably better than having some huge gathering just to announce it.

Congratulations could be heard from throughout the crowd gathered in the barn, except for a few gutter-minded ponies who were wondering how certain objects fit in certain places…

"All right, all right. I think we've embarrassed the poor lass enough. On with the-"

A long, loud rush of air could be heard from outside the barn, and many ponies shivered at the thought of being subject to the bitterly cold wind.

"Ah, yes, that reminds me. I would like to thank the Apple family for lettin' us use their barn to gather this year, since the Ponyville Pavilion was a _mite_ bit too cold for this year's Hearth's Warming gathering. But, I believe that we have everything that needs said out of the way now, so on with the sermon, shall we?"

"Dear Princess Luna, we gather here under your moon to remember our fore-runners – those who found the harmony we express towards each other today. May we all remember the lessons they learned, so that we may not have to learn them ourselves."

The congregation responded with: "Praise be to the Celestial Sisters!"

"Now then, I believe that we that the play can begin now, so… on with the show!"

"Just how in the hayseed is it that after _every_ single event we host in here, even without 'em- there are always paper cups strewn all over tha dern floor?" Applejack grumbled to Big Macintosh as she speared what must have been the 30th cup, and put it in her trash bag.

"Ah really have no idea."

"Ta be candid, it's temptin' ta say "No" sometimes."

"Eeyup, Ah know that feelin'."

"Then again, Ah guess we sorta owe it to 'em, considering that we don' put bits in the basket every week. Or most weeks for that matter."

"Yeah, an' with all those gifts they sent ta our weddin'…"

After a few moments of slience, Applejack began to "er" out a sentence.

"Y'all mind if Ah ask a question 'bout Fluttershy an' you?"

"Ah don' mind, go right ahead."

"Well, Ah'm just wonderin'- did y'all intend ta… ya know…"

"Have a foal so soon?"

Applejack nervously chuckled, implying that was in fact her question.

"Really, Ah knew she was already thinkin' 'bout it. Ah wasn't so sure 'bout it, but Ah figured "What the hay, why not?"

"Well, all righty then…"

"Why? Y'all had some plans or somethin'?"

"Ah did, but it 'kin wait."

"What was it?"

"Well, Ah was thinkin' 'bout proposin' ta Rainbow Dash, maybe have the weddin' in November, but with a foal on the way…"

"What's stoppin' ya from proposin' ta Miss Rainbow Dash?"

"Well, fer one, like Ah was sayin'- Ah was plannin' on havin' the weddin' in November, which is when yer foal is due, an Ah'd rather not have mah best gal 'bout ready ta pop."

"Anythin' else that's holdin' ya back?"

"An' it'd be another bill ta put on the list. We barely run a profit right now, an' a foal would definitely put us in the red."

"Well, Fluttershy an Ah could-"

"No, that's final. Ah'm not proposin' ta Rainbow Dash 'til yer foal is born, at the least."

Big Macintosh went silent, and went about his cleaning, but could not help but feel an icy stare coming at him from over his shoulder.

Eventually, Applejack let out a frustrated sigh.

"Listen, Ah'm not mad at either of y'all. In fact, Ah'm really happy y'all are havin' a foal. Ah'm just a bit mad with mahself Ah didn' ask Rainbow earlier."

"Ah don' see why y'all can' ask anyway…"

"Well, fer one, we can' exactly afford ta go ta some fancy restaurant like y'all did."

"Y'all two don' need one." Big Macintosh replied.

"What? Y'all sayin' Rainbow an Ah ain' good enough fer' some fancy restaurant?"

"No, that's not what Ah'm sayin. In fact, if y'all were the types, Ah'd pay fer it mahself. Thing is, Ah don' think either y'all would exactly like bein' in some fancy-pants restaurant."

Applejack had to admit, he was right- both of them would probably end up getting kicked out of the place anyway.

"Well, where do y'all suggest Ah propose then?"

Big Macintosh mulled the idea over, then began to trot towards his room.

"Where y'all goin?"

"Ah'll be back, just in a secun'."

Applejack began to run through all the places she could possibly think of.

Sugarcube corner? Hay no, that isn't a special place.

The library? Okay, now that sure as hay wasn't the place.

Cloudsdale? No, she couldn't fly, and that would mean having to take Twilight along with her then.

"Hey Big Macintosh?"

"Eeyup?" He responded from his bedroom upstairs.

"How'd y'all decide on that fancy restaurant anyhow?"

"It was where her folks proposed."

_Well shoot, that's sweet an' sentimental. How in the hay am Ah supposed ta find a place like that?_

As Applejack continued to mull over various places- AAAAAPPLELOOSA included- she began to hear a shrill noise pierce the air.

A rock falling, maybe? Some odd type of bird Fluttershy had brought over?

"LOOK OUT BELOW!"

Well, a rock was close enough…

Soon enough, dust, hay, and a thin layer of smoke covered the room, leaving Applejack and her mare-friend coughing in the aftermath.

"Hey sugar-*cough* Sugarcube, why are y'all here? Ah thought y'all were spendin' Hearth's Warming in Cloudsdale?"

"Aw, when did it become questions first kisses later?" Rainbow Dash tauntingly replied as she pecked Applejack on her cheek.

"Well, Ah was just a lil' surprised, is all. Though Ah have been waitin' a while ta do this."

"Applejack, what in the-" Big Macintosh entered the room, wondering what exactly that loud crashing noise was, then made a U-turn when he saw what was going on.

_Nope, interruptin' them mares in a make-out session has always been bad luck._

Big Macintosh simply left the barn, and headed over towards Fluttershy's cottage, to check on his wife.

*Lawl Author's Note: Okay, I'm back! You would not BELIEVE how guilty I felt not getting a chapter out earlier! Then again, I STILL FEEL GUILTY! But, just in case you were wondering where I got the inspiration for this chapter from, I got it at a Baptist Church. I'm not Baptist, nor do I endorse that religion over any others. Just thought I'd let you know that when I go to a Baptist Church, I can end up thinking about Rainbow Dash and Applejack making out. Plus, I liked this way of doing it to avoid any real lemons- namely foal making. Anyway, see ya!


	4. Chapter 4

The Honeymoon, Chapter 4.

"Oh horse apples. Fluttershy, you really shouldn't have eaten that lettuce! It was for the bunnies…" Fluttershy gave herself a quite rebuke.

She had recently gone on an unintentional "See Food" diet… if she saw food, she would probably eat it. Not intentionally, but, she just felt hungry. All the time.

She didn't want to say it was the pregnancy, that would make her feel bad, as though she were blaming her foal for it.

"Oh, what am I going to do now? I still have to feed those bunnies, but I can't go to the store today, they're closed…"

A loud, sudden knock could be heard at the door, followed by a loud, strict voice, demanding that Fluttershy come to the door.

"Applejack, Ah'm- oh, who the hay am Ah kiddin', she's too busy with Miss Rainbow Dash ta notice. Ah'll just leave a note."

He picked up a note, and scrawled on it:

"_Gone to Fluttershy. Back for Dinner_."

He had to admit, his writing wasn't the best. Certainly nowhere near as good as his wife's, especially not Miss Twilight Sparkle's. Then again, Miss Sparkle had magic to help her write…

"Should Ah bring her a caramel apple? Ah mean, Ah know the doctor said she need a little bit more sugar, especially considering her usual diet."

Over the past couple of days, Big Macintosh had been getting less than adequate sleep, because of his sister's... 'activities', which had become somewhat louder in the night since Applebloom was off on a camping trip with Scootaloo and Scootaloo's father.

The lack of sleep had caused him to become somewhat absent minded, which wasn't too far from his usual silence.

"Or maybe Ah could bring her a pie. Nah… well, Ah guess Ah don' see why Ah can't bring her both."

As he packed the food in his basket, he couldn't help but feel giddy. For one, Fluttershy had become quite a bit clingier, which he didn't mind. In fact, he enjoyed that part. He loved hugs, from anyone- but her hugs were even more special.

Also, he was going to be a father. A _father_! On top of that, Granny Smith would probably be around to see her first great-grandchild! Everything couldn't go any better!

He soon left the barn, humming to himself as he trot towards Fluttershy's.

When he got to about halfway there, he came along the edge of the forest. He heard a rustling in the bush, and couldn't help but have all the muscles in his body tense for a fight. It had been where that Diamond Dog had attacked him all those years ago, and he wasn't going to be caught like that again.

"Ow! Ow! Ow! Shiny pony kick Rover hard!"

_Well, Ah'm sure not any shiny pony…_

He set the basket down, and slowly trot towards the bush.

"Rover? Y'all in that bush?"

"Oh, no! Now big pony come to hurt Rover too!"

As he cleared away part of the bush, Big Macintosh saw the diamond dog come into full view, with a bloody- possibly broken, he couldn't tell- nose.

"What in the hay happened ta ya?"

Okay, so the diamond dog _had_ attacked him, but he wasn't going to be one to hold a grudge. Besides, Fluttershy had already given him the scolding of a lifetime, and he had apologized, over a dozen times, including giving a diamond to help cover the expenses of his medical care.

"I went to-" The diamond dog snorted as he tried to wipe away some of the blood before it began to drip off his face.

"To Mrs. Fluttershy's- to- to ask if she could help my pet bunny, Fluffy. Big shiny pony standing at door, I heard other yelling inside. I ask if I can go in, big pony say no. I ask again, this time with please, too! Shiny pony yell no and he kick me!

"Now that don' sound right, or any good… listen, Ah can' stop ta help y'all right now, but Ah'll see if she kin' help yer bunny later. All right?"

"Okay, big pony… say… oh, what that word...? 'Hi' to Fluttershy for me?"

"All right, Ah will." He rushed back over to his basket, which he had left on the path, picked it up, and began to gallop towards Fluttershy's. If there were ponies there- especially large, potentially violent ones- he needed to get there much more quickly.

"Now what in the hay are they doin' here?" Big Macintosh pondered aloud, as he noticed two Royal Guards- rather large royal guards, almost the size of Big Macintosh himself- standing outside the door, as though to make sure no pony got in.

"Howdy. Mind if Ah ask what y'all are doin' here?"

"No one gets in to see the prisoner."

Big Macintosh scratched his ear as to clear it out somewhat, then asked again.

"What are y'all doin' here?"

"No one gets to see the prisoner."

"Prisoner? What in the hay are y'all talkin' about?"

"According to section 4.2936 of the Law Enforcement act, I am not required to tell you why she is under arrest, only that she is."

"Yeah, well accordin' ta 2.836 of the same act, Ah'm allowed ta meet with her 'cause she's with foal, an' Ah'm the father."

The guard's jaw dropped.

"That's right, Ah studied law. Gotta know that sorta stuff when 'yer doin' taxes."

"I am sorry, but we are questioning the prisoner right now, you may not talk to her."

_Whatever the hay this is, it ain' right. Maybe Miss Sparkle 'kin help…_

"Ah'll be back. An' if you lay a hoof on 'er, Ah 'kin guarantee y'all, ya won't like it."

"Miss Sparkle? Miss Sparkle, y'all there?" Big Macintosh knocked on the door again, this time even more loudly. He was very close to just breaking the door down, his aggravation and sense of urgency quickly snowballing.

Soon, the door swung open, revealing a yawning Spike.

"Spike, y'all seen Miss Twilight Sparkle? Ah need ta speak with her!"

"Nah, some royal guards took her off this morning. Something about questions, I think."

"Oh, sweet Celestia, not her too! Oh, what in the hay am Ah supposed ta do?"

As Spike's mental gears began to spin, he slowly realized something was probably wrong.

"Okay, slow down big guy. What the hay do you mean by 'her too?' Is something wrong with Fluttershy or Applejack?"

"Fluttershy's bein' held prisoner in her own house! Ah don' know what the hay is goin' on, but she is!"

"Okay, usually the Princess hates it when other people send her letters… but to be honest, I'm sort of worried too… er, wait. What should I say? Usually Twilight just tells me what to write, and I, well, write it."

"Dear Princess Celestia:"

"Okay, I guess you already thought about this…"

"What the hay is going on?" Big Macintosh continued dictating the letter, obviously growing more enraged as he thought about what to say.

_Well, THIS is going to go swimmingly._

"Why was Fluttershy arrested, and what in the hay are those guards doin' questionin' her? Sincerely, Big Macintosh."

"incerely, Big… Macin..tosh. Okay, got it!" Spike trailed off to himself, and then set the scroll ablaze.

"Ah can' wait ta see how she's goin' ta explain this one." Big Macintosh grumbled to himself.

"Yeah, well, I wouldn't expect a letter too fast. With all those legal holes she's got to go through."

"Ah don' care, she's still goin' ta answer."

"All right, you want some-"

A thunderous landing could be heard outside the door, followed by a rapping knock on the door.

"Now then, y'all want ta explain yerself, Princess… Luna? Oh now what, Celestia-"

"Silence! I demand to see the one named 'Big Macintosh', immediately!"

"Well, yer speakin' to 'im."

"How dare you use that tone of writing, when addressing a royal!"

"Yeah, well, when she starts goin' an' roundin' up ponies 'fer no reason, Ah think we have a right ta be mad."

"Oh? And you say that the royal guards have arrested, and are now interrogating your Fluttershy?"

"Yeah, that's pretty much what the hay Ah'm sayin!"

"Well then, someone here is a liar, because no royal guards have been dispatched to arrest anyone in Ponyville!"

*Author's Note: In other news, I honestly hate knee surgery. Gives me plenty of time to write, though. Anyway, Happy New Year! Maybe I can get a chapter off to Ava Nova, my beta reader, before then…. By the way, give Ava Nova a look! She's a really nice writer!

Oh, and I'm possibly going to make a "Ask FluttMac" Tumblr… just don't expect me to have good drawings or anything. I'll probably decide by the next chapter.


	5. Chapter 5

"Oh? And you say that the royal guards have arrested, and are now interrogating your Fluttershy?"

"Yeah, that's pretty much what the hay Ah'm sayin!"

"Well then, someone here is a liar, because no royal guards have been dispatched to arrest anyone in Ponyville!"

Big Macintosh shook his head in disbelief. Did Princess Luna really just say that those _weren't _royal guards? Or was he going insane?

"What in the hay are y'all sayin? Ah saw those two; they were royal guards, standin' outside her cottage, not lettin' any pony through!"

Princess Luna scoffed at his seeming incapability to grasp the situation.

"That is exactly what I am "sayin". In fact, almost all of the royal guards are currently on security detail for the royal winter ball's preparations."

"Y'all want ta come with me an' see what Ah'm talkin' about? 'Cause Ah'd be more than willin' to."

Luna nodded, an increasingly arrogant smile crawling across her face.

"Take me to these "guards" that you speak of. I wish to see who would dare claim to make false claim of being a royal guard."

As they hurried to Fluttershy's, Big Macintosh's fear for his wife snowballed, his mind racing to find some explanation as to what was going on.

"Well, they certainly seem to be royal guards from a distance… rather large royal guards, but guards none the less." Luna mumbled to herself, as she glided down to stand in front of the guards.

When the guards noticed Luna gliding in, they snapped to military attention.

"Princess Luna, Ma'am!"

Well, there certainly were ponies here, who to any normal person would certainly appear to be royal guards.

"I demand to know your business here. Now."

"We cannot tell you, Princess Luna."

"Just what did you just say?"

"Princess, I am not at liberty to tell you."

"And just why the hay not?"

"You have the clearance, so I can tell you: The Solar Contingency."

Luna stared at the guard, shock written on her face.

"The _Solar Contingency_? And you think _she's_ involved?"

"Just what in the hay is the "Solar Contingency" y'all are talkin' about?"

"I am not authorized to tell you."

Big Macintosh and Luna both rolled their eyes, clearly annoyed with the stonewalling they were both receiving.

"I'll tell you. The Solar Contingency is an emergency order put into place when there has been an attempt on Celestia's life. I'll have to send a letter to my sister to find out what the hay is going on, once Spike finally catches up…"

Luna looked back down the road, to finally see Spike wheezing his way over the bridge.

"I… I… *ugh* I'm here… *huff* finally."

"Spike, I need you to take a letter to my sister."

"I…*huff* but… fine."

"Dearest sister Celestia: Please explain to me why the Solar Contingency has gone into effect, and why the pony named Fluttershy has been arrested. Sincerely, Luna."

Spike wheezed out enough fire to set the scroll ablaze, and sent it off.

"I just… hope you know… you're lucky I had that scroll on me." Spike huffed.

"Well, Ah'm still waitin' ta know who the hay got the crazy idea that Fluttershy could kill anyone, much less Princess Celestia." Big Macintosh grumbled, still giving an irritated glare towards Luna.

"I can assure you; I had nothing to do with her being arrested. I would never give such an order, especially to the pony that saved me from staying Nightmare Moon."

"Yeah, well right now Ah don' trust any of y'all except Spike."

"To be honest, I have no idea what the hay is going on here, so I'm not going to pick sides."

After a long period of silence, Big Macintosh finally decided to ask Luna to go inside and check on his wife.

"Listen, y'all mind goin' in there ta make sure she's all right?"

"Not at all."

As Luna turned to walk into the cottage, the one of the guards stepped in her way.

"Princess, I cannot allow you to speak with the prisoner."

"What?" Princess Luna exclaimed, confused and more than a little irritated with the entire situation.

"What do you mean, I cannot speak with her?"

"I mean that-"The guard stopped short as Spike belched up a letter from Celestia.

"Took 'er long enough." Big Macintosh gave a snort of contempt.

Spike cleared his throat and began to read off the letter.

"Dearest sister Luna: While yes, the Solar Contingency has been called for, and yes, the order was to place Fluttershy under house arrest, she is not under arrest for any wrong-doing, but rather for her own safety. My most sincere regards to her husband, but she must be kept as safe as possible."

Big Macintosh's scowl only managed to deepen as he listened to the letter, as his temper grew even worse.

"As he may or may not know by now, all of the bearers of the Elements of Harmony have been placed under solitary house arrest, except for the case of Rainbow Dash and Applejack, who were placed together. Twilight Sparkle is here in Canterlot with me, so no need to worry. Sincerely, Princess Celestia."

"Oh, now ain' that just peachy. She's givin' me the roundabout, an' Ah still can't even talk ta my wife." Big Macintosh shook his head and began marching off.

"If she's goin' ta be like that with a letter, might as well speak ta her myself."

"Wait, I-" Spike began, as he belched up another scroll, along with a small medallion attached.

"Ugh, I hate how I always get a sick feeling in my stomach before I get these things. Anyway, let's see what it says."

"Dear Big Macintosh: I understand that you are probably not going to take "no" for an answer, so I will give you this medallion. It shall allow you to visit the girls, although I am not sure the guards will allow you to stay with any of them, except maybe Fluttershy. Again, it is at the guard's discretion to allow you to stay or not. If you believe any of the guards are abusing their power, send me a letter. Sincerely, Princess Celestia."

"Well, Ah'm still annoyed with the roundabout, but Ah guess if it's fer Fluttershy's safety, Ah'll deal with it."

Big Macintosh put it on his yoke, and then walked towards the guards.

"Am Ah finally allowed ta see her?"

"Yeah, you can go in." The guard gave a sideways glance as Big Macintosh smugly opened the door and stepped in.

As Big Macintosh stepped into the cottage, he began to notice that there was something wrong. There were books scattered about, and the animals seem to have been shocked, or scared.

_I swear to Celestia, if they did something to her…_

Big Macintosh immediately rushed upstairs, to find a drunken, half-armored guard standing outside Fluttershy's bathroom.

"Awsh, come on, it's not like hesh gonna know!" The guard mumbled, as he staggered off to the side, due to drunken balance.

"GO AWAY! I DON'T WANT ANYTHING TO DO WITH YOU!" Fluttershy screamed from inside the bathroom.

"You don't *hic* have to play hard to *hic* get, lady!"

"Get the buck away from her. Now."

"Oh, and who *Hic* the hay *hic* are you?"

"Ah'm her husband. Now get the hay away from her 'fore Ah buck yer head off."

"Big Macintosh? Is that you?" Fluttershy called from inside the bathroom.

"Yeah, Ah'm here, darlin'!" He called as he stepped towards the drunken guard and the door.

"Please, get that nasty guard to go away!" She replied.

"Oh, *hic* beaushiful, why yoush gotta be like that?"

"Like Ah said 'fore, get the buck away from that door 'fore Ah buck yer head off."

The guard waved his hoof and then staggered off, apparently given up on his attempts at Fluttershy.

Big Macintosh stepped up to the door, and gave it a quick knock.

"Fluttershy, he's gone."

With that, the door swung open, and Fluttershy had him in a vice-like hug.

"Oh, thank you so much!" She repeated over and over, tears streaming down her face.

"Y'all okay, sweetie? Did he do anythin' to ya?" Big Macintosh tried to soothe her as he rubbed her back.

"I… he… kissed me…"

"Ah'm sorry, he what?"

"Please, don't get mad at him! It's not his fault! He was drunk, and…"

Big Macintosh sighed, as he realized that as much he would love to buck that colt in the head, Fluttershy probably wouldn't like it at all.

"Listen, Ah promise Ah won' go an' hurt him, just tell me what the hay happened."

"Well, he, umm… kissed me- not on the lips, but on the cheek! It was an accident, I promise!"

"Don' worry sugarcube, Ah don' mind. Ah'm just glad 'yer okay."

"Promise…?" Fluttershy asked as she looked up at Big Macintosh, her eyes brimming with tears.

"Ah promise. If y'all don' mind me askin', what the hay is goin' on with the "Solar Contingency" Ah was told about?"

"It's a long story…"

Author's Note:

Eeyup, y'all get ta wait 'till next chapter ta find out what it is. Anyway, enjoy your January!


	6. Chapter 6

"It's a long story…" Fluttershy sighed as she sized up the undertaking before her.

"Would you mind if we lay on the bed while I explain? My hooves are killing me."

"Ah don' mind."

As they lay down on the bed, Big Macintosh couldn't help but notice Fluttershy had begun laying in an awkward position, half on her belly, half on her side.

"Y'all okay? Yer layin' sorta funny."

"Oh, I'm fine." Fluttershy reassured. "It's just that it hurts when I try to lay on my stomach."

"Ah'm sorry ta hear that…" Big Macintosh felt the entire situation uncomfortable, this conversation even more so.

"Aw, it's not your fault, sweetie." Fluttershy reassured him with a nuzzle, "It's just one of those things that comes with being pregnant."

"Ah know, Ah just can' help but feel bad."

"And that's-" Fluttershy giggled "Why I love you so much, you're always so empathetic."

"Anyway, onto the Solar Contingency…" Fluttershy cleared her throat a little.

"The Solar Contingency is a plan that was written out hundreds of years ago, in case someone would be mean enough to try to kill Princess Celestia."

"Right," Big Macintosh nodded, "but just how in the hay do y'all an' my sister fit in there?"

"From what I was told, it's rare enough to know all six people who have their connection to the Elements of Harmony. The six using them- twice- has only happened with us."

"Alright…"

"So, they… "included" us in the Solar Contingency now."

"Y'all know how long yer goin' ta be in "protective custody" an' all that?"

Fluttershy gave a shrug, and replied with a simple "I don't know."

"Well," Big Macintosh finally decided, "Ah guess Ah'll just have ta start takin' care of 'yer animals earlier than Ah thought."

"Sir, permission to speak?" The guard standing outside the door called.

"Y'all don' need ta ask, go ahead."

"Well, I feel sort of awkward about this, but as timing would have it, we just received an order to place you under protective custody as well."

"An' mind if Ah ask why?" Big Macintosh didn't mean to sound- well, mean- but he sure as hay wasn't about to be forced into protective custody without a reason.

"Well, you're married to one of the bearers of the Elements of Harmony- and the brother of another. We're afraid you would be a high value target for any group out to do harm."

"Really? Y'all don' think Ah can't handle myself?"

"We'd rather not risk it, sir." The guard shook his head. "As capable as you are, we're not going to take any chances."

"Well, now Ah'm wonderin'- y'all have anyway ta take care of Fluttershy's animals then?"

"We have two teams coming down from Canterlot- one to take care of the animals, and another to tend to your crops- we're having Miss Applejack give us the instructions."

"Well, Ah guess that's fair. Thank ya kindly 'fer the consideration."

"Heh, I'm just glad I'm not the one taking care of the animals." The guard soon realized his mistake, and rushed to add on "W-well, not because I don't like animals. Hay, I love animals. It's just that I've heard that there is one bunny named "Angel Bunny" who can be a troublemaker."

"Oh, he's really a sweet bunny when you get to know him!" Fluttershy defended the absentee rabbit.

"I'm sure he is ma'am."

_Sweet like a week old potato chip!_

"There are two other things- well, they're more news than something to discuss- that they wanted me to tell you."

"All right, shoot."

"Well, first- I really hate how they make it sound so darn formal- It is with our humblest apologies that we have heard about the incident Mrs. Fluttershy had with Plated Heart. We shall inform you that he has been fired, according to the guard code of conduct."

"Plated Heart? That was his name?"

"Yes, sir." The Pegasus guard continued. "We'd tried to get him into the guard's AA program, but he refused. I guess it was just a matter of time until he got fired, but I wish it wasn't like this."

"Yeah, well, Ah don' think anypony wants ta get fired 'fer something like that, if they want ta get fired at all."

"Yeah, I guess not. Anyway, the other thing is that your lunch is here."

"Our lunch is… here? Ah don' think we ordered any lunch."

"Well, Mrs. Fluttershy had informed us that she was short on groceries, so we had one of the guards go out and pick some up."

"Well, that's mighty kind of ya."

"Again, I feel guilty that we even have to in the first place. I doubt anyone would go after either of you two, but orders are orders."

"Well, Ah guess there's no point in lingerin' on it."

"Yeah… anyway, thank you, umm… I'm sorry, I can't remember your name."

"Well, I think you can't because I never told you. I'm Silver Sword."

"Silver Sword?" Big Macintosh realized it probably sounded rude, but the only guards he knew had very "guard-ish" names.

"Yeah, you're probably wondering about that, aren't you?"

"Y'all don' have ta tell me if ya don' want to."

"I figure I might as well. Thing is," Silver Sword began, "my father was a guard. His father was a guard. So on and so on, for about three hundred years. So, they eventually started naming the kids with "tough-sounding" names."

"Holy hay… that's a family line y'all kin' hang yer hat on at the end of the day."

"Yeah, I guess it is pretty cool. At the same time, it doesn't say much for our originality."

"Yeah, ya got me there… listen, while Ah'm thinkin' on it, mind if Ah just call ya "Silver?" Callin' ya "Silver Sword" seems a bit long."

"Go right on ahead, sir. While we're on the topic of names, is there anything you would prefer other than "Sir", Sir?"

"Shoot, Ah don' care. Most people just say Big Macintosh, but whatever floats yer boat. Sounds like we're goin' ta be together fer a while."

Ya know, one of these days, I am going to release a chapter BEFORE 9 PM. Not sure when, but one of these days...


	7. Chapter 7

Well, Tofu Frittata sure as hay wasn't something Big Macintosh would be in a rush to have again, that was sure. Fluttershy ate every single scrap of it, but that wasn't saying much, considering that she was really hungry, especially for a pregnant mare. As he washed the dishes, he thought he almost heard something like bird seed being poured.

When he turned around, he was greeted with the sight of a Pegasus guard, standing perfectly still, wings extended, with several bowls of varying bird seed, and birds of all kinds feeding from them.

Big Macintosh almost kept a straight face… for about five seconds. Big Macintosh tried to not be so loud as to disturb the birds, but the sight was too much for him to handle.

The guard himself was already smiling a little, and his smile grew as he realized how ridiculous he must look.

"Ah'm sorry," Big Macintosh began as his chuckling began to die down, "but that's funny right there. Sorry if Ah embarrassed ya."

"Meh," the guard replied with a shrug, "it's all right. I'd be willing to bet it does look pretty ridiculous."

"Well, since it seems Ah'm probably goin' ta be stuck here a while, mind if Ah ask yer name so Ah don' have ta keep callin' y'all guard?"

"Lieutenant would be most appreciated, sir."

Who the hay names their son _Lieutenant_?

"Lieutenant…?" Big Macintosh prompted.

"Flower, sir. Lieutenant Flower."

"Well, nice ta meet ya, Lieutenant Flower. Mind if Ah ask what the first part of yer name is?"

The guard's shoulders sagged a little bit as he let out a sleight sigh.

"Might as well tell you. My full name is Daisy Flower."

Big Macintosh didn't laugh, but rather he just raised an eyebrow.

"Y'all not part of some military family, Ah take it?"

"Yes sir. I'm actually the first person in my family to actually join up with the guard at all."

"What made y'all sign up?"

"Well," The guard began, as he slid an empty bird seed bowl off his wing, "mainly, it was to get away from my parents. They were, as you would probably call them… "loud pacihoofs"."

"Loud pacihoofs?" Big Macintosh hadn't ever really heard _that_ term before. Or at least, in a negative light.

"Remember the Colt State riots?"

"Eeyup, Ah remember hearin' 'bout that. Protesters got hurt by some guards. Never really heard enough ta make a real opinion 'bout it."

"Well, my parents are the ones who organized that protest." The guard shook his head, ashamed of what his parents did.

"Y'all are actin' like 'yer ashamed." The guard jumped, barely startling the birds at all. It seemed that Big Macintosh was almost reading his mind.

"Y'all should be proud that 'yer parents were brave enough ta do that! Those other ponies went there by their choice, an' knew what they were gettin' themselves into."

"Well, yeah, but my opinion is still planted with the guards, and I'm sticking to it."

"Well, Ah'm not goin' ta try ta change yer mind. If you want ta side with the guards on that one, it's yer prerogative."

"Thank you, sir. Most ponies either act like I'm betraying my parents or I'm a monster for siding with the guards."

A faint giggle could be heard from Fluttershy as she stepped out of the bathroom, as she was greeted to the view Lieutenant Flower's flank, which still had a bird seed bowl sitting on it.

"Y'all done in there?" Big Macintosh asked her as she stepped towards him and Lieutenant Flower.

"Oh, yes, I'm completely done."

Big Macintosh rushed over to the bathroom, giving a quick "Sorry, nature's a callin'!" and shut the door behind him.

The last of the birds finished eating, prompting the guard to heave a sigh of relief as he set the bowl on the counter.

"Oh, I'm sorry for laughing earlier, I don't know what came over me."

"It's all right. I probably looked completely ridiculous, a guard in full uniform feeding birds. Well, that and my flank was the first part of me you saw."

"Yeah…" Fluttershy blushed as she admitted that most of the reason she giggled- Big Macintosh was definitely a muscular stallion, but… well, let's just say his flank left something to be desired.

Daisy Flower shifted somewhat, unsure of what to do now.

"Is it all right if I ask you something?"

"What is it?"

As far as she knew, she wasn't allowed outside the house period. But, it couldn't hurt to ask.

"I was just wondering if it's possible I could go visit Applejack and Rainbow Dash?"

Daisy Flower frowned and shook his head.

"Sorry, but as far as I know, I'm not allowed to let you leave the house, much less go all the way to Sweet Apple Acres."

"Oh…" Fluttershy's eyes began to grow wet with tears as she resigned to the answer.

"All right."

The guard began to stutter out an apology, as he realized she was crying, while trying to figure out some way Fluttershy might be able to see Applejack and Rainbow Dash.

"Oh, I- I'm sorry, I- if- maybe…"

_Oh great, I made her cry! I feel like such a prick right now!_

Big Macintosh exited the bathroom, this time to find Fluttershy crying and the guard apologizing profusely.

"What the hay is goin' on right here?"

Oh hay. He's going to probably murder me.

"Well, I- um- told her that- that we probably wouldn't be able to take her to visit Rainbow Dash or your sister, sir."

Big Macintosh shifted his eyebrows, unsure whether to believe the guard or not.

"That true, darlin'?"

Fluttershy sniffled back a "yes".

"Well, Ah guess there ain' much they can do 'bout it."

"I think I might have a way, but I don't think it will work. Let me go ask the Sergeant Shield about it."

Author's note: If you hadn't picked up on it already, "Colt state" is a reference to Kent State. And, again, whomever you side with is your prerogative. I'm not writing to change it, or to give my preference towards it. I'm just using it for a conversation in a story, and for character background. *Hides from impending wave of political commentary* Anyway, hope you enjoyed the chapter!


	8. Chapter 8

"_Ambush! Targets! Left side, left side!" The sergeant screamed as the boulders came hurtling down towards the squad._

_A rock struck her in the head, sending her rolling, her consciousness nearly leaving her. _

"_Come on, we've got to get out of the kill zone!"_

_As the pegasus opened her mouth to reply, a single thought going through her mind as another boulder-_

"Rainbow, come on! The guards are leavin' in five minutes, an' if you don't have that armor on, they're-"

"Relax, AJ," Rainbow Dash replied as she rolled over to the side of the bed and hopped off, "I just wanted to know what happens at the end of that chapter!"

"Yeah, well, you said that 'bout 20 minutes ago." Applejack furrowed her eyebrows are her mare-friend, and pointed towards the clock to get her point across.

"Now come on, Ah don' want ta' be the one who has ta' explain ta' Fluttershy why y'all ain't there."

Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes as she muttered a "Fine" and walked towards the suit of armor that was laid out on the floor.

As she picked up the barrelplate, she contemplated the conveniently sized armor.

"Hey AJ, got any idea on why they have armor in our sizes?"

Applejack muffled something about "dresses", and then went back to tying the back of the armor.

"What was that?"

"Ah said, they kept our measurements from the Hearth's Warming Eve pageant, remember?"

"Oh… right… then why didn't they just bring me that Commander Hurricane armor? That outfit was waaaaaay cooler." Rainbow Dash emphasized her point by stretching her front hooves out wide.

"Behcuzh shughrcube," Applejack again replied through a snoutful of rope, "We need ta blend in with the guards, not stick out like a pair of split hooves."

"Right, like we're not going to stick out anyway. All the other guards are white, and we're orange and cyan! How are we not going to stick out?"

"Listen, y'all want ta go see Fluttershy an' Big Macintosh or not?"

"I do, it's just that-"

"Then quit whinin', we'll be out of these outfits in probably ten minutes."

Applejack tied the final knot on the armor, and then motioned Rainbow Dash to follow her downstairs to the waiting guards with her tail.

"I see Miss Dash is finally in her armor." Sergeant Shield greeted the two mares as they came out the barn doors.

Rainbow Dash dismissed the guard with an eye roll.

"Now we can actually get on the move. Mrs. Fluttershy certainly is going to be happy to see you two."

"Oh my goodness! They're actually going to be here!" Fluttershy rushed throughout the house, her mind racing over ever single bit of furniture and unwashed dish.

She let out an elongated "Oh" as she remembered the neglected guest room, which her parents hadn't exactly left clean the last time they visted.

She raced towards the guest room, to find Big Macintosh pulling a new bed-spread onto it, tucking in the last corner.

"Ah figurrd," he mumbled through the blanket in his mouth, "that if they were going to come over here so late, they might as well stay the night."

Only saying a rushed "thank you", Fluttershy then rushed back down the stairs and began to shove all of the unwashed dishes into the sink, and flipped the sink on.

Her hooves, moving at blistering speeds to get all the dishes washed, dried, and then put away, were eventually stopped by Big Macintosh yet again, this time he went further to gently push her to the table, and told her that he would take care of it.

"But I-"

"Sweetie, Ah know y'all are worried 'bout the house bein' clean an' all, but Ah know mah sister, an' her marefriend, an' those two'd be sooner ta start talkin' metaphysics."

He silenced her with a peck on the cheek and a little tickle on her wing, which he knew was her favorite spot.

"No fair!" She cried out between giggles.

"Well, Ah did what Ah knew would get y'all ta relax. It ain't healthy fer' you or the foal."

Fluttershy had to admit, it probably wasn't. Besides, she knew her sister-in-laws weren't neat-freaks anyway, so she could probably let Big Macintosh handle it.

"Uhh… that isn't exactly healthy for you…" Rainbow Dash teased Applejack as she helped her tripped marefriend up.

"Gee, thanks fer' that, Captain obvious!" Applejack mumbled as she shook some of the dirt out of her mane.

"No charge. Well, actually, I-"

"WHAT ARE YOU TWO FOALS DOING?" Sergeant Shield screamed in both of their ears.

"GET BACK IN LINE, YOU FILLIES!"

"Why I oughtta-" Rainbow Dash started for the sergeant, only to be stopped by Applejack.

"We're supposed ta' be guards, remember?" Applejack bumped her barrelplate as a visual reminder.

"Right…" Rainbow Dash grumbled something about teaching him who the filly was later.

"Sorry, sir!" She said out loud as she snapped back into her military attention.

"SORRY DON'T CUT IT! When we get back to Canterlot, you get to enjoy doing 200 wing-ups!"

Rainbow Dash shuddered at the thought. She had done wing-ups as part of the Wonderbolts audition, and they were absolutely murder after the 100th. She returned back to the formation behind Applejack, and resumed the dreary practiced march.

The metal was really beginning to annoy her, because it made a sound not unlike someone slapping two bits together whenever she walked. But beyond the annoyance of the armor, there was also another sound going off in the distance that she couldn't really identify, and decided to ask Applejack.

"Hey, Applejack, do you hear that?"

"Yeah, Ah do sugar cube."

"You know what it is?"

"No, Ah don' know what it is. Now y'all mind marchin' like we're supposed to?"

"Fine, but I-"

"AND JUST WHAT ARE YOU TWO FILLIES TALKING ABOUT NOW?"

Well, for making it convincing, the sergeant was certainly pulling out all the stops.

"Nothing, sir!"

"Nothing, eh? Figures you two with nothing between the ears would be talking about nothing! Maybe you two can talk about nothing while you're on night patrol!"

"Aw, now come on! I-"

"For the next WEEK!"

At this point, Rainbow Dash kept quiet and only stuck her tongue out at Sergeant Shield as he trot back to the front.

_Yeah, well, I just can't wait to get to Fluttershy's and get this armor off so the rumbling in my ears will stop._

"Sweetie, y'all sure ya want ta' wait until they get here ta' eat?"

The loud grumble from Fluttershy's stomach said yes, while her head shaking said no.

"We can't, that would be just rude!"

Big Macintosh was starting to feel hungry himself, but he wasn't about to risk getting his wife mad with him.

"Besides, what if they got attacked, or something? How could we be sitting here eating our dinner when they're running for their lives?"

"Sweetie, Ah'm sure they're just-"

"No! I'm not eating until they get here, and that's final!"

"All right…" He heaved out a sigh and then walked over towards the window to watch and wait.

"Ah just hope they get here soon…"


	9. Chapter 9

"Ah just hope they get here soon…" Big Macintosh mumbled under his breath as he stared out the window, wondering where in the wide world of Equestria his sister and her mare-friend could be.

"Oh, they had better get here soon! When they do, I'm going to give them such a talking-to!"  
>His wife was at the window adjacent, her worry and frustration quickly mounting.<p>

"Listen, Ah don' think that-"

"And then, when I've given them that talking-to, I'll give them another!" She stomped her hoof to the floor, her determination to show her sister-in-laws just how much grief they had put her through. "I am going to give them such a piece of my mind!"

Big Macintosh wasn't entirely sure he should even try calming down his wife- her frustration seemed to be keeping her from worrying, and one of them _had _to be the better alternative.

"I mean really! And if they just trot on in here like they've done nothing wrong, they've got another thing coming!"

"Yep, Ah definitely do not want her ta get angry at me…" Big Macintosh underlined one of his few rules about Fluttershy: Never get her ticked off.

Eventually, the latter gave into one of her more pressing bodily functions, and excused herself to the bathroom, telling Big Macintosh that if Rainbow Dash or Applejack were to arrive while she were in the bathroom, to not even speak to them until she got back out.

As she stepped into the restroom, he heard a rumbling coming from upstairs, somewhere around their bedroom, then followed by a pair of hushed voices.

Placing his bet that one of the guards had knocked something over, he decided to see what the commotion was about. When he was halfway up the stairs, he was knocked off his feet by something that was bolting down the stairs.

"Oh, hey, Big Macintosh!"

As he began to get his eyes into focus, he began to make out the shape of his little sister, Applejack.

"Applejack…?" Big Macintosh furrowed his eyebrows as he began to stare at her, as though that would discern for him what exactly was going on.

"Sorry we're late, Rainbow had a real bad bathroom emergency."

At this point, the gears in Big Macintosh's head stripped, and he just sat there, his confusion immobilizing him.

"Big Macintosh? Y'all alright? Yer' not really sayin' anythin'." Applejack sat there, waiving her hoof in front of Big Macintosh, attempting to coax him back into activity.

"Oh, hey Fluttershy!" Hearing this, Big Macintosh began a mad scramble up the stairs, out of pure instinct to not get caught in the crossfire.

"Sorry we're late, I-" Big Macintosh wasn't sure exactly what had cut Rainbow Dash off, but he sure as hay wasn't going back to find out.

When he got to the top of the stairs, he decided that maybe a small nap would help him figure out… whatever the buck it was that was going on here. He headed towards his room, his mind a complete fog. As he neared his room, he began to hear a hushed conversation.

"Well, Ah guess Ah finally got the voice down."

"That sounds an awful lot like my voice." He whispered to himself, creeping ever closer to the door.

"Oh, you got the easy part. All you have to do is sound like a hick. I have to be this pansy-ass pregnant mare."

At this point, Big Macintosh was about ready to buck whomever was in the room, regardless of who they might be. He poked his head in enough to see himself and his wife in the room.

"Who the buck are you, and what the hay are you doing here?" Big Macintosh slammed the door open, and stepped inside.

"Well, Ah'm-" The changeling began, "Ah'm…" immediately the changeling froze as he saw who he was facing.

"An' more importantly, which one of you two said my wife was a pansy?"

Author's note:

Well, yeah. I can't write combat scenes, and I promised to have at least part of this new chapter out by this Saturday afternoon, so yeah. Sorry for the chapter's length, I am seriously getting a mental block.


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